What They Made Me Watch in July, 2009 (Part 1 of 2)

Here's half of what I watched recently. I'll tell you about the rest in a few days. Everything is graded on a scale of Michael Keatons. Two Keatons is okay, three is good, four is excellent, five is too good for you.

Slaughterhouse-Five (1972) (R)
Adaptation of the Vonnegut book.


Dying Room Only (1973)
TV adaptation of a pretty dull short story by Richard Matheson.


Blazing Saddles (1974)
Why is this not as funny as I would like it to be? (My favorite Mel Brooks film is Young Frankenstein.)


Zardoz (1974)
Fairly awesome John Boorman sci-fi flop. Sean Connery left the Bond series to star in this. Weird and cool.


Dead of Night (1977)
Another TV film (composed of three stories) written by Matheson. Directed by the late Dan Curtis.


Basket Case (1982)
About a boy and his brother, who lives in a basket.


The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas (1982) (R)
Musical starring Dolly Parton and Burt Reynolds.


Star Trek II: The Wrath of Khan (1982)
This is supposed to be the best Trek film? I mean, yeah, it was okay. But it's nothing special, is it? It's just a bunch of space dumbness.


How to Get Ahead in Advertising (1989)
Bruce Robinson's follow-up to Withnail & I stars Richard E Grant as a mentally unstable advertising executive. Nowhere near as good as you'd expect but still probably worthwhile.


What About Bob? (1991) (R)
Bill Murray vs his therapist.


Exotica (1994)
Atom Egoyan's stripclub drama/thriller. Not entirely satisfying. Still good.


Barb Wire (1996)
Pamela Anderson as the classic cartoon character. Basically shit, but I've seen much, much worse.


Gia (1998)
HBO TV biopic with Angelina Jolie as the world's first supermodel.


Mr. Show: Season 4 (1998, 10 episodes)
At its best, Mr. Show is the smartest, funniest sketch show ever. (Too bad it's not always at its best.)


Rounders (1998)
Matt Damon plays poker. Entertaining.


I leave you with this thought:

The Penis shoots Seeds, and makes new Life to poison the Earth with a plague of men, as once it was. But the Gun shoots Death and purifies the Earth of the filth of Brutals. Go forth, and kill!