Soon: Doom

SUPERBLOG TWO!! Roland Fassbinder! It's here! Soon! Doom!

Fun #21: Top Ten Superheroes

1. Spider-Man and his Amazing Friends
They dance and have fun together. Wait, those are not your friends, Spider-Man! Don't you recognize Dr Ock and that green fellow from the movies? WATCH OUT!

2. Noel Gallagher
Noel was good back when he was grey but when he turned green he and his stupid band started sucking. That fucker!

3. My Little Martian Manhunter

4. My Little Green Lantern

Exactly the same as the manhunter (shown above) (in #3) except this one is a lantern!

5. The League of Batmans

One Batman is good, but 4 Batmen are unbeatable! 5 is even better. Therefore, they are #5 on this list. WATCH OUT!

6. Buttercup

Seen here with her skeleton outside and inside her body. Buttercup could be on the Cartoon Girls I Wanna Nail list but that would be creepy and disgusting because she is clearly portrayed as pre-pubescent.

7. Dr Stwange

Here he is in his civilian identity. That fucker!

8. McFarlane Toys' Cornboy

He is trying to get into Sporty Spice's pants. Korean Hunk wonders who the sexiest spice girl was. (He's voting for Baby Spice.) Error message here.

9. Wonder Woman

Not so wondrous here with AIDS, is she? No, AIDS is not fun. Not a laughing matter. Makes you think.




10. (TIE) Galactus and Dr Doom

Protecting the ears of America! I remember how Doom (AKA Dr Door) stole Galactus' energy and whatnot in Secret Wars. Which was an awesome, awesome comic book. I am old and I suck.

Those are the top ten superheroes in America today and for all time. Please note that Pepe le Moko was trying to worm his way into this perfect post while I wrote it and he almost managed because he contributed some GREAT words (mostly "That fucker"). Thank you, Pepe!!

I am Ballast

Top ten reasons why I'm ballast:

1. In online conversations, I use "Bah!" a lot, just like Doctor Doom.

2. I'll soon be FOUR years older than I ever expected to be when I was a kid.

3. Everybody knows about Lolcats, but I'm the first person ever to think up a Loljesus project. (Except I'm not.)

4. Whenever I see a pregnant woman, I get a powerful urge to punch her in the stomach, but so far I haven't, which shows character.

5. I may have drunk more Al-Qaidas than anyone in the world. At worst, I ought to be the runner-up.

6. Since creating SUPERBLOG!! five years ago, I have yet to visit a strange city without being approached by sexy girls saying, "I love your posts! Do me! Do me right here!"

Okay, that's ten.

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Footnote: Ballast is Swedish for something. You'll never know what.