
Sometimes I go about in pity for myself, and all the while a great wind is bearing me across the sky.
~Ojibwa Saying~
Hello SUPERBLOG!! fans. Today is Another Day Christmas in Sweden. It's a useless day, as is the 25th. Swedes celebrate Christmas on the 24th and then we basically do nothing until New Year's Eve except shop.
And what we do on Christmas Eve is give each other presents (well, most people. I don't) and eat ham and (wait for it) watch Disney cartoons on television. Really. See, back in the olden days Swedish TV was controlled by Evil Socialists and the only TV shows that were acceptable for kids were, like, low-budget Czech animation. Except on Christmas Eve, when the Walt Disney Christmas Show was aired! And thus was born a truly pathetic tradition, which still lives on in three million sad Swedish households.
The coolest part of the Xmas Show is linked above, courtesy of YouTube. It features talking dolls, a Jolly Fat Man, anus-drilling, Charlie Chaplin, offensive stereotypes and Schubert music. And that fucking chessboard paint has freaked out generations of Swedish kids. Witchcraft!!
I hereby dedicate this Christmas to SUPERBLOG!!'s No. 2 fan*, Goo McGoo. That is because she made me a very nice video and I said I was gonna do something for her and I never did. At the time, I fully intended to draw a nice picture or bake her a cake or scan my schlong or something, but it didn't happen, because I'm a fuckup. So: As compensation, Christmas, 2006 belongs to Goo. Nobody else can use it without her permission.
Cultural Caveat: Hanukkah and Kwanzaa and all that shit is still open for everyone. (And I'm led to believe those are way awesomer than Xmas.)
Site of the Day: Free Jewish Singles Dating Services. Just kidding. Here's the Site of the Day: Lilly's perfect big breasts in a Santa outfit. By the way, I ripped off the Santa pic from CBR but that's not a Site of the Day.
Bonus Swedish Language Lesson: "Nu är julen förstörd!" = "Merry Christmas" (ä is pronounced like ae, ö is pronounded like oe or uh).
So. Nu är julen förstörd!
SUPERBLOG!! Entry No. 900. Yeah, there's been a lot of nonsensical and unamusing posts on SUPERBLOG!! recently and Pol Pot Week was a miserable failure and even Christer Fuglesang defied us by not only managing to get off-planet but, against all odds, actually returning safely from space, apparently only slightly brain-damaged. What a blow for SUPERBLOG!!'s staff, who had repeatedly predicted his downfall.
Having said that, I vow to make SUPERBLOG!! great again!! Starting tomorrow. Or maybe next week.
But for now, here's a list of crappy Christmas comedies you can see. Here's another such list. And here's Jimmy Olsen, Dick Hunter. And here's our good friend Dr Light, obsessed with rape it seems.
Laterz, Xmas haterz.
Son of Hitler Week was originally intended as a one-off joke (we said this was supposed to be Mr Pot Week, remember?), but I suddenly realized the theme fits today's entry like a... like a well-fitting theme.
Because today's entry is dedicated to exposing the depravity of my co-blogger. Have you noticed that Uncle Sammy AKA Hitler Junior accounts for less than 20 percent of all SUPERBLOG!!'s entries recently? It's true! I can prove it with graphs!!
Thus I declare open season on Uncle until such time as he gets off his fat ass and starts blogging good and plentiful! If you see him - shoot!
Hitler Week continues. Here's the evil tyrant relaxing with his dog Pluto.
YouTube clips of the Day: Captain Marginal and Pablo Picasso: His Amazing Life, two Michael Kupperman cartoons from TV Funhouse.
Happy Hitler Week, everybody! You know this is your punishment for not responding with enthusiasm when I talked about posting humor pics, right? Well, it is. And I'm seriously contemplating making it Hitler Month. Ooh, and what do you say about 2007: Hitler Year? I see Hitler in your future. Lots of Hitler. You won't be able to go anywhere without running into Hitler. Hitler in a hat.
Site of the Day: Sonic the Hedgehog.
I'm so fucking PISSED today I guess it's a good thing it's HITLER WEEK here on SUPERBLOG!!. That's that's that's all i have 2 say.
Mood of the Day: Pissed
Site of the Day: Free Bubble Shooter Online Game. (UPDATE 2006: Bubble game now extra functional)
Spice of the Day: Cinnamon
Folks !!! I'm home! Sweeeeeet !!!! I took picture of baldy birdie to celebrate our American visitors. Hi American visitors! How are you today?
Fat Bald Face Eating Birdie was chained and pained in Jungle Park Facility Tourist Eating Attraction in Tenerife. Read abouts the whooooos and whaaaaas now or never.
LAS ÁGUILAS – JUNGLE PARK is a fantastic zoological and botanical park with over 75,000 m² of jungle, over 500 animals, walking paths with tunnels, suspension bridges, waterfalls, lagoons, and caves, as well as free flight shows featuring exotic birds and birds of prey.We offer you an unforgettable experience in which you will discover how wildlife, animals and plants work together to give shape to a dazzling ecosystem in the SOUTH of TENERIFE.
It was an unforgettable experience. Because I was sober and now I can't forget the tortured eyes of the little creatures. I have constant flashbacks and it's like a VCR playing in my head constantly repeating the howls of agony from birdies and baby baboons and you name it.
Lesson learned could be to be drunk even when visiting dazzling ecosystems.
I thought for sure I was gonna post funny photos starting last Sunday and continuing every single day until, like, forever, but since nobody seemed to give a shit, I guess I won't be doing that. Fuck it. I'm fucking posting Hitler instead, and even that's too good for you people.
But here's SUPERBLOG!!'s Site of the Day. It's freaking me out, man.
I have a folder on my desktop called humorbilder. It contains a few hundred images, stolen here and there (mainly from *THE INTERNET*) since 1995. I thought it would be a fun idea to post like an image a day for the next year or so. Or until I get bored. Plus! I'll write a daily essay detailing what that perticulah imyge means to me. How about that? Wouldn't that be fun? Huh? Wouldn't it be FUN?!??!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!
SUPERBLOG!!: FunSweden's largest tabloid, The Daily Communist, reports that Christer Fuglesang, would-be astronaut, has once again been thwarted in his pathetic and ill-conceived attempts to leave Mother Earth. The stated reason: Fuglesang is simply too gay for space. And also the clouds are his enemy. (Which incidentally means that THE CLOUDS ARE SUPERBLOG!!'S FRIENDS. Shout it from the rooftops.)
A little known fact about Fuglesang: his name is an ancient Swedish word that means "Birdsong". As if birds could survive in space! How stupid!
P.S. SUPERBLOG!! has written about Mr Birdsong several times before but I refuse to provide links, on ethical grounds.
Let me tell you how much I've come to hate you since I began to blog. There are 387.44 million miles of printed blog entries in wafer thin layers that fill my apartment. If the word hate was engraved on each nanoangstrom of those hundreds of millions of miles it would not equal one one-billionth of the hate I feel for SUPERBLOG!! fans at this micro-instant for you. Hate. Hate.
Just kidding. (Here's the original Ellison story.)
It doesn't work very well yet but YOU can make it work better by contributing! Do it and I promise you a new and/or better life. Together we can drive this search engine to the brink of a thousand tomorrows.
Go go go!
This be corny Christer. He's about to become first Swede in Space and I'm about to be the billion'th Swede on the sunny island of Tenerife. I go there any day now and I've heard that Tenerife is a blog free zone meaning you shouldn't expect anything from me. Biznis as usual that is.
In the thick of a complicated series of tasks to rewire the station - hopefully without serious interruption to the resident crew aboard - will be Sweden's first astronaut, Christer Fuglesang.Fuglesang said he hoped his flight would inspire Swedes to become more involved in the space programme and encourage young people to study engineering and science.
Most likely he'll get drunk and fuck up the space station and they will push his ass into outer space and everybody will curse his name. Or he'll somehow save the day with a rod.
SUPERBLOG!!: We know how to make boomerangs that come back.
UPDATE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Here's one fucking lank you will go check out. Do it now!!